Absence makes the heart grow fonder

Note to self:
Don't get jealous.

Love is in the air, everywhere I look around...

Unfortunately. Yes, I really mean it. It's unfortunate.

Seeing people in love and seeing couples start forming more intimate relationships makes me happy. Honestly, it does. But I just hate being in the presence of it when I'm away from the person who shares that kind of relationship with me.

One of my friends has been telling me about the time he has been spending with this girl we know. I think they could have ended up in a relationship before if things had been different. It didn't happen, however, and they're spending a good amount of time together now. It seems like they're enjoying each other's company, and if things go the way I think they will, they might end up together. And then I'm not going to feel as comfortable hanging out with them. Why? Because I'd feel like the third wheel all the time. Who wants to be the third wheel?

Another thing: my roommates seem to be gone all the time. Where are they at? With guys, that's where. My first roommate is in a relationship. They're close enough now, considering they made a trip to Atlanta together during Spring Break, and they went out of town together last weekend. My second roommate is in some kind of relationship with a guy, or at least is starting to form one with this guy. I could tell from a conversation we all had one night, about him coming over. She had to get ready for him, and she was definitely stressing out about it. My last roommate has been in her relationship for about a year now. I don't see her much at all--it's like she lives with this guy. They're good for each other though.

Obviously, all of my roommates have places to be, guys to see. Recently, I have been alone in this 4-room suite countless times. I don't mind being alone at all, I just hate that this acts as a constant reminder that all of my roommates are in a relationship with a guy who goes to school here, whereas I'm in a relationship with a guy who goes to another school.

It's just hard for me to see this all the time, to see most of my friends in relationships and being all lovey-dovey in front of me, talking about the time they've spent with these guys. I can do that about once every 5 weeks, when I get a visit from my guy.

It's difficult. I get disappointed, sad, frustrated, and most of all, jealous. I get jealous because I can't have what my friends and roommates have. I can't just call up my guy and say, "Hey, let's hang out. I'm coming over." If I say, "See you later," it doesn't mean that I'll see him in an hour or two. It means I'm going to see him in a month or two. When I say, "I'd like to see you soon," it means that we're going to set up a date via Skype, using our webcams. I can't say, "I want to talk with you" and expect a face-to-face conversation. Instead, I just get a voice coming out of the speaker of my telephone.

It's nothing I (we) can't get through. Like I've already said, it's just hard for me (us). It would be so much easier if we had both gone to the same school.

I have to emphasize though, that we are so much stronger because of this experience. I am somewhat grateful that we have this challenge because our feelings for each other have only grown.

perfect fit

Note to self:

Smile

When I started thinking about college and applying to college, I wasn't ever sure of where I wanted to go. From the beginning, the only place I really confident about was Mizzou. I applied to several state schools in Illinois and Missouri, even if I didn't really want to go there. For example, I applied to Eastern Illinois University and Missouri State University, although I never had any intention to go to those schools, no matter how much scholarship money they awarded me. So why did I do that--why did I apply to these schools?

Because money has always been a concern for my family, and they didn't want me to have all these loans piled up if I went to an expensive school.

Yes, that's very reasonable. I know I'm not the only one who made their college decision based on their family's financial limits. It's very common for any student who wants to go to college. I really just hate that it's like that though.

So, I had my mind set on Mizzou after Ivisited them. Their journalism school was top notch, and it seemed like I would have really enjoyed attending school there. But then in November, a letter came from the University of Alabama, offering me almost a full ride to attend school there. The only things I would have had to pay for were my books and my meal plan. Of course, my dad and I made the trip down to UA to visit. Twice.

As soon as I step foot on the campus and spoke with professors and students, I was sold. Hands down, I knew I wanted to go to UA.

And now here I am, almsot finished with my sophomore year, and I'm wondering if I really made the right decision two years ago. Everyone says that "College is going to be the best time of your life." If that's true, UA hasn't pulled through for me. In the beginning, it was great. I was having a great time, and I know that all came along with being a freshman, finally finding freedom from the parents, and being 8 hours away from home.

I'm realizing now that the people, the events, the campus, the classes, the organizations, the social life, etc. just...doesn't satisfy me. It really doesn't. Now I'm wondering how much I really enjoyed the school while I was visiting...was it really genuine, or was I being unknowingly influenced by the knowledge that I would be going to school here almost for free? I know I would have never chosen UA if they hadn't offered the scholarship package to me. So...if I had just had a normal college visit, as a student who wouldn't have been offered as large an amount in scholarship money, how would I have felt about UA then?

I'm not saying everything about UA is horrible. I know some great people, I have great opportunities, and I know the academic programs are pretty amazing.

And no matter how I feel about this situation, I know I won't transfer.

It's just that everyone tells you that you have to make sure the college you choose is a perfect fit for you. The University of Alabama definitely is not the perfect fit for me, and I'm just not sure I really made the right decision.

Election

Note to self:
Never neglect to use my voice.

On Tuesday and Wednesday of last week, our university held SGA Executive Office elections (President, VP for External Affairs, VP for Academic Affairs, VP for Financial Affairs, VP for Student Affairs, Executive Vice President, Executive Secretary, and the Senators for all colleges). Every year, supporters for each candidate execute serious and extensive campaigns, using every resource possible to spread the word about the person they support: chalking, posters, flyers, customized items (cups, bottle openers, koozies, t-shirts), stickers, banners on fraternity and sorority houses, and more. You get the picture.

The SGA Elections Board watches the campaigns every year to make sure each "party" is following the campaigning guidelines, which are outlined for each and every candidate who is throwing their name in the hat for whichever position they desire. This year, however, unethical campaigning happened far too often. The polls (online this year) closed at midnight on Wednesday, and there was to be no campaigning after 9 pm on that night. Instead of following that guideline, a large number of students continued to campaign, many times unethically. Furthermore, unethical campaigning did not happen only on Wednesday night--it was present throughout the entire campaigning period.

This "unethical campaigning" is only one small part of the election and the influence on voting practices, however. On our campus, a large group of students has created a way to literally control what happens with SGA elections, and even homecoming queen elections. I am not going to discuss explicitly these practices or describe the group of students who are members of this group because the most important thing to understand is this: these students only compose a small percentage of the entire student body, but their influence spans across a majority of the part of the student population that actually participates in the elections. Their influence is so strong that, almost always, their candidate takes the SGA office or the homecoming crown.

Due to the unethical campaigning that has been linked with the group of students mentioned above, many members of the student body have questioned the results of the election that took place last week. This year, over 14,000 students voted, and the winning candidate won by just 261 votes. Many members of the student body have become outraged, disappointed, and frustrated. These students believed that it was finally time for an independent candidate to take the office of SGA president, but once again, that certain group of students who have found a way to control the vote prevailed.

As aforementioned, that certain group of students only composes a small percentage of the student body on this campus. If all of the students had voted in this election, it is very possible that the independent candidate would have actually won. Our campus experiences such voter apathy...

I'm realizing that I can't just be angry with the group of students who strongly influence and control the student vote. I have to be angry with the 7,000 students who did not vote. With those extra 7,000 student votes, I'm sure that the independent candidate (who I supported) would have won indefinitely. We didn't have those votes though, and the other candidate won again.

This is all about a small, college campus SGA election. What difference is this really going to make in the world? None, really.

But for me, I'm realizing how important a person's voice really is. I've always known the importance, especially in relation to national presidential elections, but to have something hit this close to home puts it into perspective even more. I feel that I have a deeper, improved understanding now, whereas before I just accepted the belief without thinking about it any further.

I really wish others would notice the importance of expressing your voice: on campus, and nationally.